News: I got a kick out of this weird newspaper article

I don't know what this ridiculous sounding commentary typically is about but it references Thomas the Tank Engine as part of what's good and wholesome about English culture. It seems like it might be a weird romance 'novel' in article form in the newspaper.

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'I mean... As if Daniel is going to marry me. He can't even speak to me' - Irish Independent: "'Respect!' Freddo burst out, in his Cambridge falsetto, stepping valiantly into the breach like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music when Captain Von Trapp loses all heart for Edelweiss during the Salzburg talent contest. 'Where has it gone? What has happened to it? Where are our English values? - cucumber sandwiches, Thomas the Tank Engine the red pillar box, the thud of tennis balls, the vicar on his bicycle, we shall fight them on the beaches, an Englishman's word is his bond?' "